Past Regrets and Failed Relationships
by Broken Twisted Lullabies
Summary: Michael didn't need romance, everything was perfect. Lucifer, on the other hand, believed that his brother was spending too much time unhealthily being buried in his work and confronts Michael about it. AU- not Mikifer [Unnatural Writers Club Prompt]


**This fic actually falls in the same universe as my Sabriel AU- "Puppy Proposal" only about 6 or 7 years prior to it. This was written for my latest prompt for the Unnatural Writers Club on Supernatural Amino and I absolutely love how this story turned out!**

 **Warnings: makes reference to drug use and starving oneself (eating disorder), near death experience, and other mental health issues.**

 **Pairing: Past Michael/Adam**

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 _Prompt: "I don't need romance, I have-"_

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Michael sat behind a dark oak desk, finger typing away at the keys of his keyboard, dark eyes not leaving the laptop screen. A new, rather expensive smartphone buzzed from its spot next to the laptop and glancing over, the man noticed it was yet another text from his brother. Mumbling something softly under his breath and shaking his head, he ignored the text and turned his attention back to the larger screen before him. Once again absorbed in his work, he pushed away all distractions from the world around him, not even bothering to pick up his now ringing smart phone. That was not an easy thing to do, he realized with a sigh as obnoxious tune filled the silence of his office.

 _Of course_ , he thought crossly, once again giving the small gadget his attention and noticing Gabriel's name on the caller ID. As Christina Aguilera's _Candyman_ filled the air, Michael cursed his baby brother for somehow unlocking his phone and adding ringtones to it. He hit ignore on the screen, not wishing to pick up and hope that that could mute the obviously sexual song. It worked and Michael sighed, a small smile on his face as his office fell silent.

The silence was short lived though as his phone began to ring once more and the jaunty tune of _Candyman_ returned. Michael glared at the phone, choosing to ignore his little brother. A couple years ago, Michael might've been worried at Gabriel persistently trying to call him but with those years behind all the Shurley kids, no red flag went off in the eldest Shurely's brain. Allowing the call to go straight to voicemail, Michael dove right back into his work, praying to God that Gabriel could take a hint and not try a third time. It seemed luck was finally on his side as once the song had ended, there was no third call.

Michael waited five minutes. Ten minutes. Eventually after half an hour, he smiled and continued to work on his report. He had far too much work to complete and even though they were family, Michael, at this moment, cared more about getting all of the reports finished rather than pull himself away from his job and hear what his brother had to say. It was far from polite and he knew it, but he had a reputation to keep up at his building. Should he fall behind on his work then he would be no better than the fools working below him and one fall could be like an avalanche for him.

Hours passed and the sun began to set, time slipping away and Michael hardly noticed. It wasn't unusual though for him to become so absorbed in his work that he was there well into the night. Sometimes, he would be sitting here, typing away past two in the morning before eventually deciding to call it a night and trudge back to his condo only to return at seven later. It was an unhealthy habit, his brothers had told him many times, but Michael didn't care. This kept him busy; this kept him distracted from everything else in his life. He couldn't control life, predict what it might throw at him but here, he could.

A knock at his door tore Michael from his thoughts and he lifted his head to see who was at his doorway. His secretary had left an hour ago and most of his employees knew not to bother him, especially once his secretary had gone home. The figure standing at the entrance had familiar dirty blond hair and Michael watched the man frown.

"Lucifer, what are you doing here?" Michael wondered, frowning as well.

"You weren't answering any of your texts we sent. Gabriel told me he tried to call you, twice, and both times you didn't answer," Lucifer said, leaning against the doorway. "And don't say you didn't hear the calls because Gabriel told me he made sure to add a song that you definitely would not miss hearing."

Michael gave a shrug, unable to quite find a response to his brother's words.

"Mike, you can't do this again. You can't bury yourself into your work and shut us out like last time. I know things aren't easy for you, none of us have it easy but you're overworking yourself." Lucifer pushed off the doorway, hands slipping into his pockets as he began to walk over to his brother's desk.

A sigh escaped Michael's lips and he rose from his chair. "Luce-"

"The last time you did this was after the break up. You were a complete wreck Michael and we're terrified. All of us. Gabriel called me after he couldn't reach you and he was scared Michael. Raphael is no better," Lucifer told him, starting to get worked up. All of them, when having bad days through themselves into something and buried themselves in deep and while Michael was doing the least harmful of the four Shurley kids, it was still unhealthy.

Michael turned away, looking out of his office window. "Please don't talk about him Lucifer." Lucifer could hear the hurt underneath his brother's words and he knew how bad things had ended for his twin.

Lucifer sighed, "Fine. But I can't stand watching my twin brother working himself like this. You need a break Michael, start dating again. You say you've moved on but you clearly haven't. You haven't dated in years—and don't try to lie to me. We're twins. I know."

The darker haired twin could see the small smile on his brother's reflection in the window and turning around, he shook his head. "I'll be fine Luce. I always am," he said with a small smile, though it felt foreign and forced on his face. "I don't need romance; I have everything I could ever want. I don't need a boyfriend or girlfriend. Besides, romance is messy and expensive."

His twin raised a brow, not taking the crap he was spewing. "One, we're loaded. Money ain't a problem," Lucifer began, holding up a finger. "And two, you aren't fine. You used to be happy Michael with Ad-"

"Don't say his name," Michael hissed, narrowing his blue eyes and Lucifer gave him a knowing look, as if saying, _'see? I know you aren't over him.'_

Taking a step forwards, Lucifer have him a challenging look. "I'll say his name if I want to Michael. You threw everything away and I've had enough! We all have!" He growled, glaring at his twin brother. Michael was stubborn but Lucifer wasn't going to let this slide. Not this time. Call him." Lucifer's hand were clenched into fists and Michael crossed his arms.

"It's over. It's been three years brother and he's moved on. Besides…" When Michael took a shuddery breath though, that was when Lucifer saw through his brother's mask. "Besides there was nothing between us."

The blond scoffed, "Liar."

Michael took a step forwards, hurt, and anger on his face. He gave his brother a look, wishing desperately Lucifer drop the subject before he made things worse, knowing exactly what Lucifer would say next to further prove he was lying but his brother, being annoying and stubborn as a mule, didn't drop it.

"Says the guy who asked me where the best place to propose to him is," Lucifer spat and Michael flinched.

There it was. The one thing he had locked so far away in his brain and hoped to never remember.

"You have no right saying that! That was years ago! I was naïve and young, thinking there could still be such a thing as happiness!" Michael snapped, hands shaking.

"You still love him! You loved him and you threw it all away! You keep wrecking every chance you have of happiness!" His brother yelled, getting closer to Michael. "You take every chance to make yourself miserable!"

"I was too busy for him! He needed someone who could actually give him time. Someone who wasn't a broken mess of a human being!" He argued back, pushing his brother away and beginning to pace the room.

Lucifer threw his hands up in the air, frustrated. "You aren't broken Michael! Anyone of us could tell you that!"

Michael paused his pacing, spinning on his heel and turning to face his twin. "Oh really Lucifer?" He asked challengingly, egging his brother on.

"Yes! Dad might've put far too much weight on your shoulders but at least we didn't have to shove food down your throat to keep you from starving yourself or put you in the back of an ambulance while your life bled away! Hell, you won't even end up dead in some ditch somewhere! You aren't broken Michael and need to stop thinking that!" Lucifer shoved his fists in his jacket pockets, stopping himself from throwing punches at Michael's foolishness. "You lost the guy you loved because you pushed him away. Told him you loved him then threw the guy away when things got messy between our little brothers!"

Michael's eyes widened in disbelief. "Are you joking Lucifer? Gabriel was dying! We nearly lost him!"

"You don't think I know that? You don't think I wasn't as scared as you were?" Lucifer yelled. "But none of that was Adam's fault and you treated him like it was! Once again you let Dad wreck your happiness and shoved everyone away from you! He wanted to help you! He cared about Gabriel just as much as you did and you broke up with him over the phone in the ambulance, told him it just couldn't work and then took the ring and hid the ring in the back of your closet, pretending everything was okay!"

"What do you know about love, Lucifer," Michael spat, watching his twin with disgust. "Have you ever spent more than one night with the men or women you sleep with? Or is you heart stolen by someone else? Or should I say s _omething_ else?"

Lucifer recoiled backwards like he had been slapped. "How dare you," he roared, betrayed, and hurt that his brother thought of him like that.

"Lucifer, I don't know how much you've been taking but-" Michael began through clenched teeth but Lucifer interrupted him.

"Oh, so now you think I'm high? I haven't touched it in a few days, just so you know Michael," he barked. "Nice to know my brother thinks I'm a junkie."

Michael tilted his head, eyes dark. "Who's the liar now?"

His twin was silent, his own words used against him and for a few moments the two Shurleys just stood in thick silence, glaring heatedly at one another. "Fine," Lucifer finally said. "Go ahead and be miserable Mr. I-don't-need-romance. I tried." He spun around and marched to the doorway, before pausing and looking over his shoulder. "When Gabriel or Raphael call, just promise me you'll silence the call immediately. Don't let it ring and give them false hope," Lucifer told him, hurt. "And Adam still loves you Mike. You should tell him you do too."

He then walked out the door, leaving Michael alone in the silent room and Michael stood there, staring emptily at the doorway, half expecting his brother to march back in but Lucifer never did. Running a hand through his dark hair shakily, Michael found himself taking a few shuddering breaths as everything began to crash down around him. The room felt far too small and the silence choking and he sank to the ground, legs unable to hold him up anymore. Sitting on the floor, Michael drew his knees to his chest and pulled at his hair, shaking.

 _'_ _I don't need romance, I have everything I need_ ,' he constantly reminded himself, the words on repeat in his head. Even as tears fell from his cheeks, soaking his pant legs, he didn't stop whispering those words under his breath.

 _I'm okay. I'm okay_.

But this time, he wasn't so sure.

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 **I know the arguing between Michael and Lucifer wasn't as detailed as I usually write it but with a word limit you kinda gotta worry about getting everything in rather than writing a 2,500 word scene with just the two of them arguing.**

 **This prompt was quite fun to write and let me know what you guys thought of it!**

 **-Ally**


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